don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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