His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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