My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
