I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize