Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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