Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
