Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
