how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
