ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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