none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
