well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
And then he peed in my hair
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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