i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
