I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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