WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
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They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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