Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
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