so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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