went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
