so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
