he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
