The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
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i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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