is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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