you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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