I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
