I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize