I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize