I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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