She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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