You were right. It hurts to walk today.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
