That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
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Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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