i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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