the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
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