I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
