Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
