Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You did what with his pubic hair?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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