I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
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Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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