if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize