MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
