At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
