It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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