Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
