are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
