Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
