So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
