Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
