how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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