I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
