whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
the raccoons are back...
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