Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
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tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
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Beer bonging to Ave Maria
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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