I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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