At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
