Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I smell like Dick and happiness
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