i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
