You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
