Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
