I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize